January 2019: Cassey’s Turning 30

A New Year’s Resolutions Story

Cassey’s Turning 30 is a story about Cassey, who is determined to actually accomplish her New Year’s resolutions as a way of celebrating her upcoming birthday.

Day 1:

Dear Universe,

It’s me, Cassey, back with more New Year’s resolutions. I know in the past, I’ve, well, failed at completing most of my resolutions. But this year is different. I’m turning 30 this year and it is my dream, no, my goal to finally cross off an entire resolutions list. So I worked really hard to figure out a good list and now I’m sending it on to you.

Day 2:

-Flashback January 1997-

At 7, almost 8 years old, Cassey had found true love. His name was Quasimodo and he was the bell-ringer of Notre Dame. Cassey knew that if she could get to Paris, she could visit Notre Dame, meet Quasimodo and they’d live happily ever after, ringing the bells every day.

Day 3:

-Present Day-

I never made it to Paris that year. Apparently you can’t run off to Paris and get married at age 8. My mom, bless her heart, told me that when I reach a marrying age, they’d take me to Paris. I don’t remember what that age was, but I do know that it didn’t take long for me to realize that Quasimodo was not real. So while Quasi won’t be waiting for me, I do want to visit Notre Dame and see it, experience it for myself. I think 8-year-old me would be okay with that.

Day 4:

-Flashback January 2007-

Graduation was coming up, which meant college was right around the corner. Cassey had only one goal on her mind for the year: exercise. She would not have a repeat of the Senior Class Retreat from last fall. Having chosen ‘hiking’ as her main trip activity (because of a boy), she was left wheezing and coughing and looking very, very unattractive. This would be her chance to redeem herself before meeting all those college .. men.

Day 5:

-Present Day-

Resolution #2: Become a Warrior Queen

Okay Universe, this is the only real resolution that began because of a guy (or because of future guys) so be kind. You know, I’d like to think that I’ve matured since then and that now I’m definitely not doing this because of a guy. I’m doing it for me, to make myself look and feel better. It’s time to get off the couch and find that strong girl who can tackle any and all adventures that come.

Day 6:

-Flashback 2001-

School was back in session after a much needed Christmas break and already Cassey was in line at the school library. Though she was a slow reader, she finally had all 4 Harry Potter books in hand and she was determined to catch up. As the line moved forward, she opened the top book and began reading those familiar words: Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of number four, Privet Drive…

Day 7:

-Present Day-

Resolution #3: Start Reading for Fun Again

I really can’t remember the last time I read for fun. I’m talking having a chunk of time where I could crack open a book and just read. No guilt, no thoughts of anything else. Just me, a book and maybe some background music. So that is what I’m going to do once a month (to start). And I’ll begin with the Harry Potter books as I’m pretty sure I haven’t touched them since the 7th book came out.

Day 8:

-Flashback 2013-

Cassey plopped down on her roommate’s couch as soon as she got home from work. “Long day?” Taylor asked from the opposite end of the couch. Cassey nodded. “I was so excited when I got this job, cause it actually matched my major, you know? And it pays well. But I’m bored and I yawn all day long. I know I’ve been there not even 2 years, but is it too soon for a career change? I don’t know how much longer I can last.”

Day 9:

-Present Day-

Resolution #4: Find My Passion

In case you were wondering, Universe, the answer was 6 years. That’s how much longer I lasted. I had just never found a good time to leave. It would be nice if there was a large sign that said “Hey Cassey, do this thing.” If not, that’s cool too. So executive decision, I can cut back on hours at work and use that time to figure out what I want to do next. I don’t want to regret this next chapter in my life.

Day 10:

-Flashback 2009-

2 hours after coming back to her apartment post-Christmas break, Cassey found herself at the grocery store with her roommates. They were going to unite in pursuit of a common goal: rid themselves of the Freshman 15 50 in the new year. Goodbye takeout, hello home-cooked meals.

Day 11:

-Present Day-

Resolution #5: Learn How to Cook

Let it be known I do know how to cook. I can follow a recipe as good as anyone. But now I want to really learn how to Cook. I’m talking Instagram-worthy meals. Okay, that’s only a teeny tiny part of it. Really, I just love food so it would be nice if my food was tastier and lasted longer than if I ate fast food every day.

Day 12:

-Flashback 2015-

The pile kept growing. Cassey’s brother stood, jaw-dropped, as Cassey and her roommate kept adding items to the stack. “How do you have this much stuff in that small room, that you share no less?” he asked. Cassey shook her head, “I have absolutely no idea. I swear I didn’t realize I had this much. I thought it would be a quick half-hour job then I’d be all moved out.” “And yet here we are…” her roommate chuckled.

Day 13:

-Present Day-

Resolution #6: Declutter my apartment

So Universe, all credit (sort of) for this resolution goes to Netflix. Okay, split that between Netflix and Marie Kondo. I started watching her new show and I am hooked. While my apartment is clean (really), I’ve been here for 4 years and I don’t think I’ve done a deep clean and gone through my stuff in all that time. But I’m inspired to do so now, so I should probably get more garbage bags and boxes because it is time for a fresh start.

Day 14:

I wonder, Universe, if I’m not thinking big enough for my resolutions. I do have the Paris trip on my list but that’s the most ‘out there’ thing I have. Should I dream up bigger things to do this year? I’m turning 30, for Pete’s sake. That’s a milestone age (I think). What do 30-year-olds do for fun? I’m going to have to google this.

Day 15:

-Present Day-

Universe, Google really came through for me. Seriously, I was worried because at first, I wasn’t getting anywhere with new ideas. A lot of the ideas that I saw were already ones that I had done or that I’ve already written about! It was one of those “I guess I’m cool because I did this thing” moments, but really, I just felt more frustrated. I want to make this year count. I think I have my list now, so I’m ready to dream BIG in 2019.

Day 16:

-Flashback 2005-

With summer ending, Cassey and her cousins spent every moment they could at the local swimming pool. Cassey’s favorite part was the diving pool: 3 diving boards at varying heights and the tallest around 30 feet. Most days, Cassey kept to the lowest and middle boards. One of the last days, her cousins dared her to dive off the high board. Not one to chicken out on a dare, she did. She over-angled, her lower back and legs smacking against the water.

Day 17:

-Present Day-

Resolution #7: Go Cliff Jumping

The Diving Incident of 2005 didn’t last long, physically. But I remember the pain. I remember. the. pain. I haven’t gone diving or even gone near a high board in years. But this year is supposed to be about dreaming big, right, Universe? So this is me dreaming big. I saw some pictures of people cliff jumping into gorgeous blue ocean waters. I want to feel that exhilaration again. That’s why this year I am going to start diving once more. I will work hard so that I can join those people at the cliffs.

Day 18:

-Flashback 1999-

Every other year, Cassey and her family would drive to California to visit cousins. Whether at Christmas or during the summer, they made the drive to Southern California. While Cassey loved looking at the ocean, they didn’t get to see it often when they were in the car. One cousin told her how there was a road that went all along the coastline that anyone could drive. This year, Cassey would make sure her dad showed her that road.

Day 19:

-Present Day-

Resolution #8: Drive the Pacific Coast Highway

I think this was the easiest resolution to come up with, once I started thinking outside of myself that is. My old roommate Taylor lives in California now and she’s been trying to get me and our other 2 roommates to come and visit. I haven’t been on a proper vacation in a while and I’m sure they’d be game to help me complete this one. We could drive slowly up the PCH, really take in the scenery and visit the towns and cities along the way. If we can pull it off, it’ll be one amazing girls’ trip!

Day 20:

-Flashback 2003-

It was the worst possible thing that could happen to a 13-year-old. After feeling like the belle of the ball at the New Year’s Eve Festival, Cassey woke to splotches and zits and stiff hair. Now she looked like a scarecrow and who knows if she’d recover in time for school on Monday. Puberty was the worst.

Day 21:

-Present Day-

Resolution #9: Get a Makeover

I’m both excited and nervous about this one. It’s been so long since I really had a “me” day, at least one that involved a spa, salon, or anything like that. I think the last time was for my sister’s wedding 3, maybe 4 years ago? I have always wanted to just splurge at a spa, really go all out. And if I do it just once, now would be the best time, right Universe?

Day 22:

-Flashback 2011-

Cassey was a member of the ‘Golden Girls’ club, aka a very close group of friends that sat at the back of any room they were in and judged. The campus library and the food court were favorite locations and homework was done in between judge sessions. Judgments were kept within the group but they did provide fun, sarcasm and a good amount of do and don’t fashion choices.

Day 23:

-Present Day-

Resolution #10: Be more Kind

I really hope you don’t hold my past against me, Universe, because it was fun being part of that group. In fact, now that we all live in different areas, we have an ongoing Facebook group chat. But I digress. I know that stopping cold turkey just won’t work that well, but I would like to be kinder. Be less judgmental of people I meet. I’d probably find more fulfillment that way.

Day 24:

-Flashback 2010-

For one of her general classes, Cassey had to watch foreign language films. Truth be told, she’d only signed up so that she had an easy A class, but soon found she loved it. It became natural to have the subtitles at the bottom and follow along, and she loved experiencing new and different stories.

Day 25:

-Present Day-

Resolution #11: Relearn French

I’m sad to report that I fell out of the habit of watching foreign language films. I got distracted and time just slipped away. But with my Paris trip coming up this year, I want to refresh my memory. I studied French in college but, like the films, haven’t practiced since. I got pretty good at the language so hopefully, it’ll come back to me enough that I’ll survive.

Day 26:

-Flashback 2006-

Cassey was not quite looking forward to going back to school. Her school would be performing Les Misérables that semester and Cassey hadn’t made the cut during auditions last fall. She was excited for her friends (she really was) but she wanted to be there with them, having fun, rehearsing, putting together the show. She didn’t like feeling like she was missing out.

Day 27:

-Present Day-

Resolution #12: Be Grateful

I don’t want to live my life with regrets, Universe. And I’m not saying that as in I don’t want to regret not doing things when I had the opportunity (though that is true), what I really mean is that I don’t want to regret not doing things that weren’t my opportunity, to begin with. I have spent too much of my life full of regretful ‘what ifs’. This year, I want to turn the page and be grateful for what comes my way and not focus on what doesn’t.

Day 28:

-Present Day-

That is my list, Universe. 12 items to ring in my 30th birthday. But now that the list is complete, do I actually have to start doing it? Sorry, sorry, stupid question. Don’t hold that against me. I’m just nervous, it’s worse than having a final in college because this is my one and only life. I don’t want to mess up.

Day 29:

-Present Day-

I thought about it. A lot. All day. As much of the night that I was awake for. And what I have come to realize is that because I have put this list out to the Universe (aka you), I can’t take it back. Nope. So, I am here to say: I, Cassey, will not forsake the list which I painstakingly created and which I have entrusted to the Universe that I may be held accountable for my actions in the forthcoming year. Was that formal enough? Yes? No? With my past track record, I felt an oath might give me an extra edge.

Day 30:

-Present Day-

In case you were still wondering, Universe, if I was serious about this year’s list (the name Cassey being synonymous with the word ‘flake’), I typed up, in BIG LETTERS, all of my resolutions and have proceeded to hang them up around my room. I have made a photo of the list my new wallpaper on my phone. I may or may not hang the list up on my bathroom mirror. Gotta keep those reminders coming.

Day 31:

-Present Day-

My dear Universe, you have been most kind to listen to me as I’ve rambled about my resolutions. Truly, you have. This has probably been the most in-depth letter that I have ever written. If I write a letter again next year, I hope it doesn’t start off with me saying I was a flake this year. Sorry, no room for negative thoughts here. One day at a time. And since that starts today, I’m going to go start looking up flights to Paris.

Love, Cassey